Why jokes
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?
Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.
Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be the real Slim Shady?
Because he can't stand up, can't stand up.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
Why will America always lose in chess?
It lost its two towers!