Why jokes

Why are orphans good at being a criminal?

Because they're not wanted.

Why can't England play chess? Because they lost their queen!

Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.

Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?

A: He got caught drinking on the job.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.

Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?

To play Star Wars.

I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

Why did God build a stairway to heaven?

So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.

Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.

I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.

When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.

Why did the carrot roll down the hill?

Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"

So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."

The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"

Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.

Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"

The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

Join us for more of the story, after the break!

Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?

From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.

Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.

Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?

Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.

Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!

Dad: Oh, hey Brick!

Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍

After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

Why was the asian late to class?

His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.