Why jokes
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
Why do French people like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.