Why jokes
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
Why don't the Amish water ski?
The horses would drown.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.