The more people who like to eat tide pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
i went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
the way u talk is so slow that the put u in the movie fast and furious and changed the title to slow and serious!!!😂😂😭
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: The moon landing was faked! So unbelievable fake! Me: You believe in the moon? Stupidass.
have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- he robbed children of their innocence
i had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet....
for 20 seconds...
and only once.... :(
What do you call a born again heteroflexable male that is a christain nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that he is a gay man that is in the closet he should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means by necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind
Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally
a leaf and a emo fall from a tree who its the ground first...
the leaf the rope stopped the emo
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Two Italian men get on a bus...
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms. Knock knock, Who’s there? Not lil Susie
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
What do u call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7 A: a virgin
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.
🤔 what do 👬 👨 👨 gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a 👨 👩 👨 man who is heteroflexable when 🤔 he has another 👨 man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street",
Q: who are the fastest readers? A: twin tower victims they got 80 stories in ten seconds
