Whos jokes

Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.

Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.

🤔 What do gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when 🤔 he has another man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob?

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.

Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?

A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.

Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.

Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?

It's OK, he didn't either!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?

He got inked up.

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?

What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?

Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.

There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"

"Who was in the race?"

"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?

What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"