Wheres jokes
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
Where do the Borg eat fast food?
Borger King.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"
His mother replies, "The stork brings them."
Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".