Wheres jokes
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.
I have a friend called Jakob and asked him, "Where my crackers are?"
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
Where did Sally go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.