When jokes
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued," and it said, "Fuck you."
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Black humor is when you ask water to African people.