When jokes
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
Memes
When men watch football but not the women's version maybe there.
You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.
When orphans drink milk, they cry.
You're so fat, when you say the n-word, boogers come out.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to take a crap... she couldn't even take a crap!
Yo forehead so big that when I asked Vegeta how big it is, he said “IT’S OVER 9000!”
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
When I look in your eyes, I always see something: my reflection. 😂
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶
When is a priest's best compromise?
A failed Baptism.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
Yo mama is so stupid, when she saw on her computer it said "You have 3 cookies," she broke it.
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?