When jokes

What happens when a Tandemaus evolves?

Friend: What's that white stuff coming out of the Pokémon Box?

Bro told me this when he passed away.

I’m “Fading.”

"Wanna hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."

"That was pretty DAD!"

Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?

Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.

Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.

What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?

A shower ma! (shawarma)

When do you take a cow to the movies?

On a mooo-vie!

What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?

He's got some "sweet" moves!

Yo mama so stupid, when I told her she needed some cats, she came back with...

CRASH, ARENA, TURBO STARS!

What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!

What time is it when you get home, and you can walk, walk home and walk, walk home from?

When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What time is it when you cannot do anything?

What's the point of sex when you're gay?

Because only gay people jerk off.

Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?

Everywhere.

You know what's so horrible about this website?

When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.

A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.

I wrote a few jokes:

What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.