When jokes

Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.

Anyways,

Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?

More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!

But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.

How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.

How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.

Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".

What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.

Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!

Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low

Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.

Trump's cabinet are like panties. Some crawl up your butt, some snap under pressure, and some actually cover your butt when you need them.

A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!

Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.

Down will come dummy, cradle and all.

Little Johnny fucked a girl, ran away, fucked another, ran, went to the strip club, got a private dance, he has sex with them, fucking ran, yelled to some random bitch ass guy, "Fuck him, he's a bitch." He bends down, they have sex on the street, they go home, have sex, little Johnny wakes up, questions himself, fucking does it again. He goes to the strip club, fucks some more people, when he is drunk, questions himself some more, then tries phone sex, but his dick is too small.

You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?

They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?

I like it when girls poop, it's really hot.

I like the big butt orange holes when the brown farter juice comes out of the orange. I like [it] a lot 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑

I get a big weiner when I think about big farting girls.

What do people say when they're fighting?

"Water!"

My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.

He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.

What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?

He's got some "sweet" moves!

Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.

You know what's so horrible about this website?

When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.

Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.

"Wanna hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."

"That was pretty DAD!"

When I look in your eyes, I always see something: my reflection. 😂

Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?

Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.

Fat: Dang...

Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.

Yo forehead so big that when I asked Vegeta how big it is, he said “IT’S OVER 9000!”

When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"

When is a priest's best compromise?

A failed Baptism.

You're so fat, when you say the n-word, boogers come out.