When jokes
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
I like it when girls poop, it's really hot.
I like the big butt orange holes when the brown farter juice comes out of the orange. I like [it] a lot 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑
I get a big weiner when I think about big farting girls.
Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!
So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"
The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"
Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!
So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"
So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"
What happens when a Tandemaus evolves?
Friend: What's that white stuff coming out of the Pokémon Box?
What did the man do when he caught his wife cheating on him?
He honor-killed her.
Bro told me this when he passed away.
I’m “Fading.”
When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.
Yo mama so stupid, when I told her she needed some cats, she came back with...
CRASH, ARENA, TURBO STARS!
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
What's the point of sex when you're gay?
Because only gay people jerk off.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!
What time is it when you get home, and you can walk, walk home and walk, walk home from?
What time is it when you cannot do anything?
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.