When jokes
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming, they found water on Mars!
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Your mama's so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.
Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?
A. Has an abortion.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Why did Hellen hate when her dad yelled at her?
Oh wait, she didn’t know! 🤣🤣
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.