When jokes

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, gravity was no more.

What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.

Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.

Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!

A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.

The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."

"You should tell your parents," I replied back.

The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.

What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.

When did Jesus die?

On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.

When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"

So when Kim Kardashian went into the ocean, the lifeguard said, "No plastic littering!"

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

What do you call an orphan when he's taking a photo?

Family photo.

What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

What does Joyce from the show "Stranger Things" say when she has a flat tire? "Wheil, wheil, wheres wheil?"