When jokes

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.

You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.

So when Kim Kardashian went into the ocean, the lifeguard said, "No plastic littering!"

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, gravity was no more.

What do you call Cyanne when she first wakes up? Nanny McPhee.

What does Tiffany call Chucky when he is staring at her Barbie?

"Eye torture!"

I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!

A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.

What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.

My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.

When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...

When a king farts, is it considered a noble gas?

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.

What do you call an orphan when he's taking a photo?

Family photo.

What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where is my tractor?"