When jokes
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.
When I place a Amazon prime order
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.