When jokes

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.

Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?

I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."

Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?

The recoil.

What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?

Flatman and Ribbon.

When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.

You won't feel lonely anymore :(

When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?

I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.

when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.