When jokes
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
What can orphans not get when playing a sport?
A home run!
What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?
A sniff beat.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
Memes
Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!
Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.
Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.
“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?
He got gangryeen.
Gangrene+green+angry
You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?