When jokes

A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?

Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!

Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.

This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."

When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?

SHUT UP!!!

Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?

Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."

What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?

Cooking the vegetables.

When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.

When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?

Just barely hugging you! Lol.

"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."

What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!

What's the difference between a bay and an onion?

I cry when I cut into an onion.

What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?

Meow.

What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?

"Walrus the remote!"

When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣

I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.

Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?

Q: What did the egg do when the bacon told it a joke?

A: It cracked up!

What is it called when young sheep bet?

LAMbling.

(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)

Yo mama so old, she was there when Moses was born.

Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?

Because they don't have titties.