When jokes
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!
When I look in your eyes, I always see something: my reflection. 😂
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!