When jokes
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
What time is it when you smell garbage? Time to run!
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Why did Hellen hate when her dad yelled at her?
Oh wait, she didn’t know! 🤣🤣
Memes
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.
What time is it when you get home and you can't walk?
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
I love my family when they're buried alive.