When jokes

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

What is the definition of clapped?

Ur mum when I am in her bed.

My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.

They both went extinct.

You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.

When is the last time you picked up the phone?

Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?

Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

"It won't be long now..."

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?

He had a 6 cents of humor.