When jokes
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.
Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.
Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL
What's it called when an orphan calls 911?
Operator: Hello, is your family okay?
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Operator: *bruh*
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
What is it called when orphans take a selfie?
A family photo.
When I mist, I miss.