When jokes
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
What’s a rapper's favorite type of weather?
When it's Coolio!
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
Hi Alex, it's 2:00 Easter time. Freshfry is a scaredy-cat. He left when you left, lol.
What is Labor Day? That’s when mommies have their babes.
When you think she likes someone else
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
What happens to Emos when they go up?
They never come down.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
I love my family when they're buried alive.
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...