When jokes

Israel is so fat, when he goes to KFC and they ask what size bucket he wants, he says, "The one on the roof!"😂

Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?

So they don't explode when you f*** them.

Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

"Aye, matey."

What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?

They said, "Allahu Akbar."

I had a good night, and I love it when you get a good walk and you get to.

What time is it when you say I can’t walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦼.

I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof.

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.

Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.

When the imposter is sus! Ahahaha ding ding ding ding ding ding ding! Dididing! Dun dun! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding! Ding ding ding didididing!

A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my anus?"

What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.

What's the sound that dwarfs make when they have sex?

Broken plates.

Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?

Because they fear him.

When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.

What do gum and guns have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.

Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"

We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.