When jokes
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
We must send upvotes immediately
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. π It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but Iβm going to be at the car π when Iβm at my car. π What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
Weβre wiped out!
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"
"No," replies the adopted kid.
"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.
If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.
Like if you dislike emos.
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"
There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"