When jokes
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!
Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.