When jokes
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.
When Simba was walking too slow, I told him to mufasa.
Babies can spread a nasty smell, especially when you haven't fed them for a month.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because when they spawned in a Minecraft world, all they got was plains.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
Why am I so successful?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?
"Cya suckers!🍭"
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
I get jealous when my phone dies.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?