When jokes
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!
Memes
This keeps getting better have a GREAT DAY
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?
Because when they win, they lose.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!
Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...
What does Yoda say when heβs at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when itβs below 10%.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
Why the hell would I go to a shooting range when I could go to school and do it for free?
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"