When jokes

People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

What did the spectator miss when going to the toilet?

The entire English innings.

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!

What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?

When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

What did the pig say when he was in the sun?

I'm bacon.

What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?

"What hap-HENd?"

Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?

Because they have a break down.

What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?

Stop horsing around!

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.

This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.

What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha