When jokes

What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?

A family portrait/A selfie.

What is it called when two Mexicans play basketball?

Juan on Juan.

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.

A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.

"What are you doing all day?"

"Knot a lot."

Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?

A: Because when you're there, you're family.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!

What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Geometry.

(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")

Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"