When jokes
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
What did the Indian say when he bumped into someone else?
"Sari."
Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.