When jokes
Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby? The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?
He has no home to hit to.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.