When jokes

Q: What happens when emos make out?

A: They don't; they just hang out.

Why go across town when you can go across the hall?

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Answer: Dam.

Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.

What did Sally do when she got home?

Cry because she has no arms.

What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?

A hurri-CANE.

This is the true worst joke ever:

What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?

Hi!

Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.

When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?

When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop up an onion.

What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?

They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.

What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?

A KKKO.

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.

A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."

When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."

Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"

Son:...... um