When jokes

One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”

I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...

"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"

A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.

When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.

A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.

The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.

Ready when you are, KK.

All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.

When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."

What time is it when it gets dark out?

Bed time.

A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.

What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.

Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?

A: Stop littering!

When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!

Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."

What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?

"No, you ate my cock!"

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"