When jokes
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
When you call the Middle Eastern suicide hotline, they ask you if you can fly a plane.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.
Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.
What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?
"Wanna hang?"
Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.