When jokes
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?
The grass was tickling his balls.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.