When jokes

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

Lots of blood tests!

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.

Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.

Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"

What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!

What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?

"Nunya business!"

I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.

Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.

When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸

I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."

When life gives you melons, You’re probably dyslexic.

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."