When jokes

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.

1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?

2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)

For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.

Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.