When jokes
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.
Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault!
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?
Bored games.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.