When jokes
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?
Because a SANSET is happening.
Yo mama so fat that when she pooped, poop exploded everywhere!
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a bowl!
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 episodes.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
I cried when my mom started to cut up onions... onions was a good dog.
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.