When jokes
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
When a clock goes forward, it goes "tic-tac," but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"
When is a rape victim right?
When she admits she lied.
You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"