When jokes
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
What do gum and guns have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).