When jokes
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
When I mist, I miss.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type...
His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.