When jokes
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
Why did God give women legs?
1. To look at.
2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"
I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
When the imposter is sus! 😳
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What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.