When jokes
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.
In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?
Because it is circle.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(
How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(
How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.