Wheelchair jokes
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
What's a person in a wheelchair's favorite sport?
Jousting.