Wheelchair jokes

Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.

What is a carrot's favorite shop?

The wheelchair store.

There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!

Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?

The top of the stairs.

Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

Why did the carrot roll down the hill?

Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.

He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"

How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?

The wheelchair floats to the top.

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:

Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"

Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"

Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.