Whats jokes
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do you call a blonde who's dyed her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”