Whats jokes
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
Memes
Perfect
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.