Whats jokes
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call a blonde who's dyed her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.