Whats jokes

A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"

"Baking a cake."

The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.

"Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."

Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?

A: On The Border.

What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a car in my garage.

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.

Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.

What do you call a butt that kills people?

An ASSassin :)

Chuck Norris is...

What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My father didn’t beat cancer.

What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?

A pedo-file.

Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

“And yer hand?” asks Marty.

“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”

“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

What's white, black, and red all over?

A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.

What do you call a person with cancer?

A ghost with a body.

What did Cinderella leave at the ball?

Her virginity.

Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

A: To hide up cherry trees.

Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A: Giraffes eating cherries.

What begins with F and ends with CK?

Fuck, I mean fire truck.

What happens when Steven Hawking dies?

Take his iPad to Cash Converters.

What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?

A tongue workout!

What's the difference between acne and the Pope?

Acne waits till you're 13 to cum on your face.

What's the most between my uncle and aunt?

My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.