Whats jokes
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Memes
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
What time did the man go to the dentist at? Two-thirty.
Q: What's a skeleton's favorite instrument? A: A tromBONE.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
What is the difference between a knife and a feminist?
A knife has a point.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.