Whats jokes
What has 3 legs, 4 arms, and 5 heads?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?
There isn't one; they are both the same thing.
Q. What is the most endangered creature in India?
A. The baby girl.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.