Whats jokes

What do French ducks say?

Quoi quoi.

What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.

What's the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...

What do you call a cow with no legs?

A cow with no legs.

What do Cavemen poop in?

A Neander stall.

A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Get in the car.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows. No body, nose.

Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.

What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.

What is George Floyd's pickup line?

You are breathtaking.

What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?

America’s Funniest Home Videos.

(lol)

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

A friend texts to another:

"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"

The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"

To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."

A boy asks his father:

"What is politics?"

Father answers:

"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.

Our maid is the working class.

Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."

The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.

Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.

The next day his father asks him:

"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"

The boy says:

"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!

Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."

What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"

"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.

The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."

Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"