Whats jokes
Hi guys, I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also, quote for the day and advice.
Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow; just look forward today. There are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.
Advice. Sometimes ppl have opinions, and those opinions are probably what you don't like, but don't bring negativity on them just because of what they're saying. If you chose, you probably say, "I don't understand that statement, but it does sound good." This is not a drama site; it's a joking site.
P.S. No hating in these comments.
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
What the heck did I discover?
What kind of chair inhabits your soul?
A hair!
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?
A blowjob is anonymous.