Whats jokes
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."
What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?
Two dead babies in an acid bath.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.