Whats jokes
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America’s Funniest Home Videos.
(lol)
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?