What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?
There isn't one; they are both the same thing.
Whats Jokes
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America’s Funniest Home Videos.
(lol)
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
