What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
Whats Jokes
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
