Whats jokes
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."