Whats jokes
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
Memes
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!