Whats jokes
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A “Lickalottapuss”.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.