Whats jokes

A depressed boy went to high five a tree, guess what the tree did?

The tree left him hanging.

What is an Emo’s favourite music element?

Self harmony.

What is money called in space?

Star bucks.

What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?

The cancer came back.

What's a Mexican's favorite video game?

Borderlands.

What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?

Five Guys.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A candy baa.

What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.

What do you call a smart person in America?

A tourist.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A “Lickalottapuss”.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

What does my head and hell have in common?

They both have demons in them.

What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?

- One dead baby in five garbage cans.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.

What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?

Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.

What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.

What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?

"I'd hit that."