Whats jokes
What do you call a rapper who can't swim?
A FLOATER!
What do you call chill legumes?
Hippeas.
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
I got in an argument with the 90-degree angle. And guess what? It was right!
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
What's yellow and smells of Marge? Homer Simpson's fingers!
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?
You need to com-it.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.
And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.
What was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on the 42nd floor?
The 43rd floor.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college? Bye-son.
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.
What does a terrorist get for Christmas?
A C4.