Whats jokes
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What is an Emo’s favourite music element?
Self harmony.
Memes
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A “Lickalottapuss”.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."