Whats jokes
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
What is an Emo’s favourite music element?
Self harmony.
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A “Lickalottapuss”.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"