Whats jokes
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A “Lickalottapuss”.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.