Whats jokes
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite shoe? White vans.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What is the difference between a woman performing anilingus on a man and a woman performing fellatio on a man?
If a woman is performing anilingus on a man, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.