Whats jokes
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Memes
what did i find?
What’s a pedophile’s favorite shoe? White vans.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"