Whats jokes
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?
A witch laughing its head off.
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
What is white and 9 inches?
Nothing.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Memes
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"
The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?
The wheels on the chair go round and round.
What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?
The tree leaves him hanging :)
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their teeth?
Mentos.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.