Whats jokes
What type of cake can't orphans eat?
Home made.
What do you call a group of depressed teens?
Suicide Squad.
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotofpuss.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.
Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?
Nothing, he had no friends.
Teacher: What does a cow say?
Susie: Moo.
Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?
Jimmy: The duck goes quack.
Teacher: Now what does a pig say?
Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
What does NASA stand for?
Neil Armweak Sorry Armstrong.