Whats jokes
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?
Two large planes.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.