Whats jokes
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger.
Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
What do you do when a baby starts to cry?
You use more lube.
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.