Whats jokes
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What do you call the worst feeling ever?
Drinking Big before Mini. :)
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
What do emos use as birth control?
Their personalities!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.
When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.
She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"
Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!