Whats jokes

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.

What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"

What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?

My clothes don't hang themselves.

What is an emo's least favorite game?

Cut the rope.

What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.

What did the kid say to the emo?

"Don't leave me hanging!"

What does an orphan call a family picture?

A selfie.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.

What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?

Time to get a new watch.

Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"

Friend: "I don't know."

Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?

Dam fools.

What is Saturn's favorite movie?

Lord of the Rings.

What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?

Q. What type of flour do orphans get?

A. Self-raising flour.

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid.