Whats jokes
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
Memes
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?
A school shooting.
What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.